The $8 Virgin Mary or How to be Old, Fat, and Ugly Without Even Trying

Last week I met up with Forreign Correspondent D who was throwing a party for E with a K at The Belmont. Since I figured out that there would be parking on Melrose just east of La Cienega, and since I didn't have to drive around for a half hour looking for parking, I got to The Belmont a half hour before the rest of the guests.

As I walk into the covered front patio area it hits me like a brick: all of these people here are not only half my age but half my weight as well (hey, I'm not that fat so you can imagine how skinny they were.) Although it's pretty dark in this covered patio area everyone is wearing sunglasses and they are smoking too. Oops, what a day to forget my eurotrash compactor - badda bing!

The rest of our party assembles but since our waitress can only do/carry one thing at a time it takes a half hour to get our drinks. I'm here mainly to try their famous Mac n Cheese (it's actually called "Our Famous Mac & Cheese") but it takes another half hour before our waitress asks us what we want to eat. In the meantime, I'm sipping on a Virgin Mary, which is pretty good but not as good as Hungry Cat's (granted, everytime I've had Hungry Cat's it's had vodka in it so maybe I'm being a little biased.)

At last the food arrives! Here's what's in this famous mac n cheese: blue crab, bacon, scallions, tomatoes, smoked mozzarella, smoked gouda, and swiss cheese. I know now why it's famous because it's so damn good! Who needs a significant other when you can eat this macaroni and cheese? Mac n cheese does not talk back! As I'm eating it, my mood improves, I start loving the fellow bar patrons, they start loving me, all is well. Happy, happy, happy.

FCD ordered the fish and chips and the fries are cooked just perfectly and the beer battered fish is wonderful: the fish is fresh and the batter very tasty and not greasy. The best part is that the food came out hot which I find is a rarity in LA restaurants, especially trendy ones.

Drink of the day: The $8 Virgin Mary